My Perimenopause Meltdown Turned Out to Be a Gift
Introducing my Substack: Hormonal Rage & Other Breakthroughs
When I left my career in New York City for the south, I brought my Excel spreadsheets and expectations for perfection (from myself and everyone else) with me. I had no idea of the breakdown waiting for me in the Scrapbook and Paper Crafts aisle of the Hobby Lobby.
I’d moved to Charleston with my husband and daughter in search of a low-stress lifestyle. But in a new town with no support structure, a dream house under construction, and the pressure of chairing an important gala, I no longer recognized myself. Anxiety. Sleeplessness. Mood Swings. Rage.
In an epic meltdown, I crashed out at the craft store, taking down a stack of photo boxes and my dignity and leaving me with a concussion. A new friend said “check your levels.” “Levels?” “Yeah, you’re probably in menopause.” It had never even occurred to me. That’s because our mothers and doctors had said little about the phase of life that wreaks physical, emotional and relational havoc during a time of other ruptures: divorce, aging parents, the empty nest. My friend was right. My perimenopause would last a decade.
The irony was that, as a crisis expert and ghostwriter, I’d responded to Wall Street scandals, mass firings, even September 11th. Decades writing everyone else’s scripts, crafting the perfect spin. My own midlife? I couldn’t craft it or spin it. It was spinning me out of control.
Today, thanks to a group of incredible physicians, we know that mood changes in your 40s aren’t random, but part of perimenopause, a word that wasn’t discussed or understood just a few years ago. Perimenopause arrives with outsized anxiety and mood swings that come and go, brain fog, and poor concentration. All the super-sized symptoms I’d been pushing to the side that came crashing down on me during my visit to the superstore.
Ultimately, my meltdown at the Hobby Lobby turned out to be a gift. The life I understood may have shattered like a bad craft project, but it got me the care I needed to feel myself again. I gained a new perspective on the ways I approached parenting, marriage, work and self.
I started writing, creating, and living with more empathy for others and compassion for myself. And I came to face the future with confidence and courage. My sold-out theatrical productions — Midlife Monologues and Pass the Mic for Perimenopause (critics called the shows powerful and unforgettable — woot!) have shined a spotlight on women at midlife and showcased the impact of story sharing as medicine. Now I’m bringing the conversation to Substack.
No matter what our stage of life, we could all use a little more empathy and connection. I’m convinced sharing our stories is the answer. Join me here.
